Carls Jr

So being a San Francisco based website, this would probably be unthinkable for most. But then again, this is about burgers, and then again one more time, people too snobby to go certain places aren’t truly happy. We all know this. They are only lying to themselves. So – the review.

The great cultivator of my love– the Western Bacon Cheeseburger from Carl’s Jr. Was this my first western burger? No. It was actually from Jack in the Box when they originally had them, and also called them a western burger. We picked it up, and I ate it in the parking lot of a lamp store in San Rafael while my mom shopped. I was young, but the memories are still so vivid. It was my first taste of true love. Sadly, one’s first love is almost always fleeting, and Jack discontinued the burger shortly after (they brought similar burgers back a few times, but you know, it was never the same). Thankfully, the Western burger has been a staple at Carl’s Jr.

I am no longer in college, or high school, where cheap and easy far outweigh any other quality in my food. But as I’ve gotten older there is a quality I have come to appreciate, and that is consistency. Will I get fast food much anymore? No. But if I want a solid burger, I know where to find it, and this is it. There are only 2 fast food burgers I will eat now, and this is one of them. And it never lets me down.

The thing this burger has that some $18 burgers lack is balance and restraint. It is simple, but each aspect is portioned perfectly. The size of the onion rings, for example, sets up each bite with the perfect amount. They also snap cleanly, making sure every bite gets its fair share of onion ring. None of that pulling out half of the toppings on the burger because you couldn’t bite it in half business. I don’t like having to shove stuff back on my burger if I don’t have to. The patty is not too thick, and is instead just a larger diameter. The bacon isn’t great, but is the most passable for fast food that I can recall. The barbecue sauce really works well with the other tastes on this burger, and it’s all wrapped up in a bun that is actually pretty decent.

And then you have the seasoned criss-cut fries. If there is ever a choice between regular or curly, I will always go curly. And criss-cut fries are the curly fries mysterious brother, the narwhal to a beluga per se. I don’t know why you can’t find criss-cut fries anywhere, but they are delicious. That is, unless they are from a certain place in Seattle that decided they shouldn’t be seasoned and should also completely lack flavor.

So for what it is, this is a great burger. Fast food is best in moderation, blah blah blah. Sometimes you just need to stop and grab a burger, and the Western Bacon Cheeseburger will always come through for you. It may not have been my first love, but it is an old friend, and it’s nice to catch up every once in awhile (please note I avoided the absolutely terrible pun there. All for you).

Also, I know Hardee’s and Carl’s are supposed to be the same, but I’ve been told they do not have a western burger? Blasphemy. Don’t stand for that, East Coasters.

Rating:

Johnny Memphis’ Smokehouse Barbecue – Manhattan Beach, CA

Well this was a surprise. I spent 4th of July weekend in LA, and I have built up a decent selection of burger places to try out there. We ended up being rather busy the whole time and never made it to any of those places, but I still got a burger in. After a long and almost stupidly-hot day somewhere in “the valley” (my LA geography is terrible) we wanted to grab some food on the way back. Johnny Memphis’ Smokehouse Barbecue was mentioned, and thankfully the whole car agreed.

I hadn’t heard about this place before, and it was a typical strip mall location. It has somewhat recently changed names and ownership. Not being a local I am unsure if there were menu changes or just behind the scenes stuff, and their website is absolutely of no help (I really need to push my web design services to all these restaurants, but that is a whole other story). Anyhow, this place is totally non-assuming from the outside. I have no judgement over being in a strip mall, as I have had great and terrible burgers in terrible and great looking places.

The menu is large, and has a good variety. They offer 6 burgers, which seems like a lot for a BBQ smokehouse. They have plenty of other meaty goodness, and the giant stuffed potato and pulled chicken sandwich my girlfriend and her sister ordered also looked great. A little something for everyone, which isn’t always the case at a place like this.

Obviously I went with the BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger. Applewood-Smoked Bacon, Onion Rings, Sharp Cheddar and Barbecue Sauce. I am capitalizing these words because they are all important. This was one hell of a burger. $8.99 and it came with seasoned shoestring fries. 4 items on a bun, and nothing more could be needed. Where do you even start when breaking this burger down? It requires some serious smashing if you are trying to go bun to bun on your first bite, but you will be doing yourself a favor if you can manage the complete bite. They have house-made bbq sauce in two varieties, and it is great. Real sweet style barbecue sauce, and you can really taste the honey. Even in the pictures you can see how strong a base honey is in the sauce. My mouth is literally watering thinking about it. Not in the cute writery sense, but am I actually wondering why I didn’t smuggle a few containers of it back on my plane.
Ok, so a delicious barbecue sauce does not an amazing burger make. But that onion ring. It was a beautiful thing. I have never had a better onion ring on a burger. At one point, I thought there was some cornbread involved (which I later may be experimenting with in a segment possibly titled “Failures in my Kitchen” or “How I Lost Everything in the Fire”). The batter is just absolutely stellar. And that ring was massive, and covered just about every bite of the burger. Success. The bacon offered its own hint of unique flavor too, and though it was much more subtle it was another reason this was so good. A blt with that barbecue sauce would make a killer sandwich on its own, that is if you ended up there for breakfast.

The patty here is large and mine was cooked just right. And while it was large, it had the perfect thickness to surface area ratio. With the bacon and onion ring on top, you definitely want a lot of area, and it delivers. This was a messy burger, but the meat was nice and juicy without sogging up the bun or getting everywhere. I thankfully was only covered in sauce and not grease. It reached a point where I was dipping fries on my hands, but what more could you ask for from a bbq sauce claiming to have the best sauce west of the Mississippi (I think they have a chance)? The bun was nice and airy, and complemented the rest of the burger well. Nothing out of the ordinary, but definitely tasty.

This was a total surprise for me. We stopped here so randomly, and it’s now a go to place whenever I head back into LA. I haven’t had a western barbecue bacon onion-ringed burger this good in a very long time. If you are anywhere nearby I highly recommend you go!

Rating:

Johnny Memphis’ Smokehouse Barbecue
http://jmsbbq.com
3564 N Sepulveda Blvd,
Manhattan Beach CA 90266

Uneeda Burger – Seattle, Washington

I recently took a long weekend in Seattle for a graduation, and after getting a lot of good recommendations, we were only able to squeeze in one burger place. The consensus from the locals was that Red Mill had the best burgers. It also happened to be close to where we were staying, so we gathered up everyone and headed over, only to find out they are closed Mondays. Panic set in; we had a flight to catch and to make it easy on everyone we may just end up at the closest restaurant. But a quick search showed Uneeda Burger was close enough, so away we went.

Uneeda burger is a nice casual place; the building opens right out onto a large patio, and the covered portion was actually necessary for the surprisingly warm weather. The inside had a lot of dark wood, and made it classier feeling than just a burger shack. Now I had no recommendations for any specific burgers here, I was just told this was one of the better places in Seattle. Their choices here are not very traditional, with Gruyere being the most common burger topper. Uneeda Burger’s menu was created by a chef with two other restaurants to his name, and although I know nothing about them I am sure they are higher end dining experiences, as a burger with Crimini mushrooms, porcini & black truffle salt, shallots & Gruyere cheese would lead you to believe.

I went with the BBQ Smash burger, and held off on the onions. 1/3lb local beef, cheddar, bacon, and barbecue sauce for $8.50. I added a side of waffle fries and an Oreo shake for $2.50 and $5 respectively. Waffle fries are not offered often, so I felt like I had to go for it. The food was ready pretty quickly, and it looked real good. Huge bonus points go to giving you the extra milkshake in the mixing cup, even if the serving glass is on the smaller side. Milkshakes have gone up lately, and if anything they are getting even smaller in size, so getting the additional cup is always appreciated. Small touches like this can really make a burger place stand out.

Now for the burger–this thing looked really good. Too good in fact, as I was a bit disappointed. Now this was tricky for me, as right away I was just not liking the barbecue sauce, and there is no way around that when your burger is covered in it. I need to bone up on the complexities of barbecue sauces to be clearer, but this was bbq sauce was a red sauce, where I favor a more brown sauce. It wasn’t a bad bbq sauce altogether; I am sure many prefer this type, I am just not one of them. So that puts me in a bit of a hard position, but I can’t recall another burger I’ve had in the past few years where I’ve disagreed with the sauce as much. I’ve had plenty of bland sauces, which this was not, but it just was not for me.

The patty itself felt… soft. It wasn’t that it was undercooked, it just wasn’t very firm. The bacon was nice and crispy throughout, and the cheddar took a backseat to the bacon and bbq sauce. I just didn’t feel like a cowboy biting into this burger. The size was substantial enough, but the patty just didn’t have a great texture. The waffle fries were also pretty standard fare, as they tasted more like a blanched potato. I was hoping they would have a little seasoning to them, but they seemed to just be french fries served up a bit differently.

My girlfriend got the veggie burger and onion rings. The onion rings were rather good, but her veggie burger was nothing out of the ordinary. Everything we all ordered looked amazing, but just didn’t quite hold up. I’d be willing to give this place another shot if I were in the area again, but I can only think of what could have been at Red Mill instead.

If you are looking for a more gourmet-styled burger, this could definitely be your place. But if you want a typical cheeseburger and fries, you should look elsewhere.

Rating:

http://www.uneedaburger.com
4302 Fremont Ave. N.
Seattle, WA 98103