There are a few things that are important to understand where I am coming from when I review burgers:
I am a purist. While I am open to burger innovations, if you rub bay leaves on the patty and substitute the bun with sprouts, I will not be eating that. And please don’t call it a burger. (For what it’s worth, I have no problem with turkey or veggie burgers, that way everyone can get in on the fun. And since my girlfriend and friends may often order this way, I’ll post their thoughts where applicable.)
I do not drink beer. Thusly, beer selection, or lack thereof, is meaningless here. So are a lot of other things. This is strictly about burgers, unless I decide otherwise. Anyway, if your burger needs a beer, its probably not a very good burger.
When you pick up your burger, you should not put it down again. You finish it. If you have to tap out, do it gracefully. This is not a rule for defining how macho you are, it is out of respect to the burger.